It is almost surreal that 2020 has come to an end. In many ways, I know that not a lot is different now than from, well, yesterday, but I still like to take the opportunity every new year to look toward the future.
2020 brought a lot of change for me, and while I didn't quite appreciate the new quarantine lifestyle, it forced me to *actually* slow down. Well, more like stop. Physical distancing, mask wearing, and curbside everything became my new normal. I was really lucky though. I can easily avoid people (home is already my workplace) and I thrive pretty hardcore in solitude. I was also lucky that my son, who turned 4 this year, also thrived outside of the pressures of needing to "catch up" with his peers. Without all those pressures, we finally got a chance to breathe, figure out what was important, and my son made leaps and bounds in his own time, on his own terms.
But he wasn't the only one to have huge growth! I found my voice, and with the help of some mindfulness practice, negative voices I'd been battling my entire life became a lot quieter, and they definitely stopped dictating how I ran my life. These things I considered huge wins in a year fraught with relentless pain and evil figures poisoning half the population.
What does 2021 hold for me? While I have my list of goals in hand and I'm ready to tackle them all, I know to keep my expectations in check. I don't plan on traveling still. I don't plan on seeing anyone outside the bubble. It'll be at least another year before I visit with friends and family far away. Homeschooling is definitely a given for me. I should maybe video chat people more so I can see faces. Mostly though, I still just want us all to be healthy, and I want to work toward a better, kinder planet, and if we inch closer this next year, that gives me hope.
It’s weird to do my first journal entry about my film work, when I’ve mostly been dedicating the past couple months to music. I’m not quite ready to step out with music stuff quite yet, but my film work is long overdue.
Last year I shot and edited a short film that I had every intention on releasing to the world (and perhaps enter into some festivals?), but every time I looked at it I pumped the breaks on showing it. So I sat on it. For months. I finally revisited it a couple weeks ago and decided to re-edit it so it would fit better into my original vision. Ah, and also scrapping the soundtrack for something better too.
Sometimes, distance is the best strategy if things aren’t working out creatively. I think too, especially with me, I needed to be exposed to some other things first to awaken inspiration. I’m basically a turtle artist. Slow moving, looking sleepy, might bite. In the age of social media and the viral culture, turtles can struggle with the pressure to always “put out content.”
That being said, I’m finally getting organized enough to trickle out some of my projects. I’ve already posted two (“Look Out” and “un-expecting”), but I have two more (older) remixed/re-edited films I’ll be posting ahead of my most recently shot film, “From the Love Tapes: Unrequited.” “Unrequited” is the first of a four part series I have planned out, however, I have no idea when those will be finished. Turtles can’t see the future either.
A lot of my future journal posts will be about music, lyrical themes, etc., so I won’t really get into my music progress in this post. I am always working on it though. I’m always writing, always trying to develop my musicianship, and I can’t wait to share more.
Until next time,